It's taken me a while to figure out how to actually word the topic which I am going to talk about. This is because it's something that I am extremely passionate about, and it is that people are not disposable. I myself have been the 'victim' of this far too often, people I have greatly cared for have cut me off from their lives for whatever reason which can not truly be justified. 

I can probably count all the people that have treated me as disposable on both of my hands, it's a hurtful thing to go through relationship or friendship wise. When you cut someone off so easily it makes them question everything prior to that moment. Was everything so wrong the whole time, have you both basically been living this lie. Sounds very dramatic, but once you are on the receiving end of this matter then it hurts instantly. If you have cut someone off unfairly then maybe once your stubbornness and anger dies out however long that may take you will realise the damage that you once caused. You might have stopped talking to your best (female) friend because your new girlfriend now suspects that there's something more than friendship going on and that relationship could be going great for you. However, one day you will undoubtedly think back and realise I shouldn't have done that to someone who had always been there for me. 

Friendships and relationships both require so much love and effort and compromise. Building these relationships is so rewarding but maintaining them and understanding that everyone has a place in your life and heart takes more time. If you find yourself in an argument with a loved one and they are so willing to end that friendship/relationship with no hesitation then take a step back. If you have tried your hardest to make things right and the other person does not reciprocate then you need to leave that situation behind. I think you should try your hardest, but do not become desperate for the friendship and love of someone who isn't worthy of you. Especially friendships that are years old, if someone is so happy with throwing that away then they never deserved it in the first place. 

We all deserve to be loved through the different relationships we have in our lives; friends, romantic interests, family we deserve to feel the love from all of those groups. We also need to know when to try harder with others to make them feel this love, and also we need to be aware of when enough is enough when someone does not give you love or even truly accept yours. The generation that we are in now, I myself am 20 so I'm right in the middle of this, is that it's much easier to delete and block someone on your device than to talk with them face to face about what the true issue is. Guaranteed, if those conversations where had face to face most of the time they could be resolved because most of the time they are extremely petty 'arguments'. 

My last thing to say is that you must know your worth, you need to stand up for yourself and love yourself first before you can love anyone else, and before anyone else can love you back. You need people in your life, and your heart will grow with amount of people you let it. Just because you get into a new relationship does not mean you need to get rid of friends to make space for someone, remember that everyone has a place in your life and heart and it's your job to make sure that everyone who has treated you right and loved you feels your love. People are not things you can pick up and throw away once you're done with them, they need love and friendship just the way you do.

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As you get older maintaining friendships becomes harder; and the tough reality of things is you will most likely grow apart from people. Different life experiences will happen and people change, now change isn't always a bad thing but its something that you have to adjust to. Through my own experience, I have discovered that biggest challenge for friendships is once you leave school and everyone start to do their own thing. You're not in an environment where you're ensured that you'll see your social clique daily so you have to put in more of an effort in order to see people. Here are a few well known but unwritten rules of friendship.


○  Kindness
Always be kind to one another, of course, we all have things we disagree on but learn how to overcome them and compromise. Remember that your friendship matters and how you treat each other is an indicator of how long your friendship will last.

○  Honesty
It's certainly the best policy; there isn't a nice way to tell someone something they don't want to hear. I've seen my friends sugar coat things in the past, but it only makes it harder when the real truth does come out. Of course, telling someone something in a respectful and thoughtful way is a must, but don't sugar coat just be honest.

○  Loyalty
Be loyal to your friends; a good example of this would be not going with a guy (or girl) your friend has previously been with or liked a lot. Loyalty equals respect. This one is pretty simple, just be loyal to your friends. Don't constantly change friendship groups, try to build something meaningful with the friends you have got. Trust me, it will work out much better down the line.

○  Effort
It's so important to make an effort with the people you care about. Everyone loves it when someone wants to be around them. Knowing someone is putting in effort to see you, taking valuable time to spend with you is a pretty good feeling. Friendships, like all relationships, will suffer greatly when effort in one sided. This needs to be a two-way thing, both sides must put in equal effort to ensure that no one feels unappreciated.

Friendships are hard to keep but so precious. I have lost friends in the past; of course at the time it hurt me but now I understand that it was not my fault. We all have issues and see things differently, but a true friend would help you through a situation or accept you for how you are. If your friend does not do this then trust me you're better off opening that place in your life for someone who would be able to treat you right and not take advantage of your good nature.
Do not forget that friendship is teamwork.



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