Dealing With Rejection In Love
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We will all face rejection at some point in our lives; it just happens but the main this is how you handle it.
I think we've all heard the excuses, let's go through a few for fun;
'It's not you; it's me.'
'You're too good for me.'
'I don't deserve you.'
'You'll make someone very happy one day.'
'I love you, but I'm not in love with you.'
'I need some space.' 'You're such a good person but.'
'It's not the right time.'
(I think the list could go on and on and on...)
'It's not you; it's me.'
'You're too good for me.'
'I don't deserve you.'
'You'll make someone very happy one day.'
'I love you, but I'm not in love with you.'
'I need some space.' 'You're such a good person but.'
'It's not the right time.'
(I think the list could go on and on and on...)
Rejection hurts. There is no other way to put it. When you get rejected it makes you doubt everything; you find yourself thinking 'why am I not good enough?' and all these issues you put upon your shoulders, undermining yourself What if you were to change your perspective, what if you were to think why is he/she not good enough? That would make a world of a difference.
The first way, you would be putting the blame on yourself, as though you're the one with the problem but if you think about it the other party are the ones with the issues.
I have personally been rejected, a few minor times, which were still hard to get over, but one major time that took a lot of effort and self-evaluating to 'recover' from it. When the person that you want the most just doesn't reciprocate these feelings or drags you along just to drop you back down, it's very hard to get back up on your feet. It's hard, but not impossible.
At the time where this occurs it's very hard to step back from the situation and think rationally, times like this you need a best friend that’s not afraid to tell you something how it is. If you don’t have that, then it’s also doable by yourself. When you think about rejection don’t see yourself as the issue, very hard I know, you have to be neutral. You can’t just think it’s your fault. I have repeated that point purposely as it’s the one that people tend to get caught up on the most, people including myself.
Times like this bring out a different character within you that you probably didn’t even know existed. A crazy side comes out where you just need answers to everything. What you have to try and remember during this period is that answers won’t make a difference as that person has already made up their mind. In fact answers could just hurt you even more, some cases it’s good to stick to ‘some things are better left unsaid’.
Whenever I have friends that ask me for advice on this topic, I like to use my strawberry-lemon analogy. This person in question be it a girl or guy, is looking for a lemon. You’re a strawberry. I’m sure you can see where I’m heading right now. Just because this guy is looking for a lemon deep down, doesn’t go to say that you, being a strawberry, are not good enough. You will be good enough for someone who deserves a delicious strawberry. My long-winded point is that just because you’re not what someone is looking for doesn’t mean you are less of a person, you’re just the same, but you both desire different things.
I try to tell myself this whenever I get rejected, and it helps because it makes you take away the blaming game from any situation, which makes it much healthier to get through. If you try to see things with this perspective, it could help the way you handle rejection.
You have to realise and remember that life will go on; everything is temporary, and rejection doesn’t last forever. You will find someone who wants you for you when the time is right. For now you just have to focus on yourself, making yourself happy and being a good person.
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